You Can Lean On Me
by Sirius-Black-is-not-dead
Summary: From the game Martian Gothic, I present You Can Lean On Me. After Kenzu and Diane escape from the Vita Base, they go through the cycle of acceptance, emotions, trust, and what they should do. How will they handle this tragedy together? Together? Or...


Well ladies and gentlemen, I present my one shot fanfic in regards to the game 'Martian Gothic'.

Martian Gothic is another long (long, long, long) game with lots of puzzles that sometimes don't make sense or are even obvious (so much running... so much looking for stupid stuff that becomes important near the END), the occasional forgetfulness (Where was the last vactube I used? WHAT PASSWORD?), and many dangers (they are everywhere, EVERYWHERE!). I've watched through the 41 parts of the playthrough, and while the ending... wasn't quite what I'd wanted, I liked it well enough to start typing a one shot!

First I must warn you, I watched the entire game and my fic starts off after the game ending. If you have not watched/played/read the game to the end- THERE ARE SPOILERS. You read at your own risk, but if you have never heard of the game then you might piece together the points of the game from my fic. I suggest that you might watch the playthrough or buy the game (it is probably less than $7 now, $10 when it was new).

For those that have played/watched/read the game, I do know the proper ending and what happens to MOOD. I am assuming no one else in the game does.

Please enjoy!

* * *

'It is... warm.' The sunset. The beginning of dusk. The feeling of being on Earth again, it was almost too good to be true.

'The air doesn't stink with the dead...' The tree branches gently swayed in the light breeze.

'I am alive... and on Earth now... That mission is ancient history.'

A cloud blocked the sun, bringing a flash of a memory from Mars. The dusty planet also blocked the sun. The cold, cold planet seemed so dead... they never imagined what would happen once they landed on the planet to begin the mission.

'It seems like yesterday we were still there... scared out of our minds and confused beyond belief.'

It was a disaster from the start, a suicide mission. Three people thrown together to investigate the Vita Base's mysterious silence for the past ten months, last transmission reporting- "Stay Alone. Stay Alive".

Martin Karne, the official leader of the team, ex-soldier, and security escort; Kenzu Uji, infomesh expert, renowned genius, and proclaimed "techno-zen hippy"; and Diane Matlock, an expert in medical and scientific studies. It was their first mission together; they had never formally met each other before and did not quite know how to handle one another.

The slow realization it was a real biohazard emergency was horrifying. No sign of life... dozens of dead bodies... successful suicides by crew members... notes of mass hysteria... authorized weaponry... Everything undoubtedly related to the mysterious Project Akarak.

Some areas, curiously enough, had bulkhead doors melted shut between main streets to separate the crewmembers from each other.

The wind passed and the sunset's light began to fade behind the horizon. The cold began to set in, causing Diane to shiver faintly. The falling temperature was nothing like the cold on Mars. The Nondead crew, pulsating icy cold temperatures, standing too close freezing the teams' blood—the crew rose from the dead and attacked them. And they never stayed dead.

Separated by melted doors and blockades, the team was alone... then the realization they had been infected by different strains of the alien bacteria in the decontamination chambers... if they stood in close proximity, they would become a Trimorph- a monster. They were all equally horrified... The final transmission's ominous message "Stay alone. Stay alive" becoming increasingly clear... and what had happened to the crew.

The helplessness almost killed her, Diane, whom would have welcomed company of the strangers she came with. Trapped in a batch of area was terrifying, only the teamwork of systematically opening doors with color tags and passwords provided by MOOD allowed the team to survive... until they had to leave one behind.

Remembering Karne summoned unbidden tears to her eyes, 'He is a hero. A true hero, and he suffered so much after what happened with Judith...' Diane sighed and stood up from the railing. Being on the balcony wasn't a good idea, she was still healing from the infection and her immune system couldn't handle getting pneumonia.

Walking through the sliding glass door, Diane briefly looked around. Nothing was out of place, her bookshelf was neatly in place, her bed was made (she always made her bed when she woke up), her work areas for reading and research was cleaned and precise. Like nothing happened...

**__****_(lockedinroom_****_s~_****_deadbodiesmoon~chemicalsexplosionsmonster~runrunnondeadnondeadplease_****_die~goawayextrudestrimorphs~goawaygoawayhelp_****_)_**

"...Maybe I will have some tea, that will calm me down." She walked around her private area and through a connecting walkway. She had gotten rid of all her doors inside her house when she had first moved in three years ago. It was the only way that she would feel safe. It was almost laughable that her whole security in her own home was completely gone. Even now when she knows she is alone she glances at corners and checks her locks twice.

She gave an annoyed sigh. 'I hate feeling helpless and not in control. My nerves will relax and settle down... I hope.' But she knew it was a futile hope. The moment she and Kenzu landed in the escape shuttle, they knew things would never be the same. She remembered crying when she and Kenzu were dragged off the craft and sent to the decontamination chambers for cleansing (if she didn't already hate decontamination chambers for getting her infected, she would hate it now). Two days she was stuck in an isolated room, waiting for blood results if she was still infected, and writing up her report of the mission details.

She hadn't even seen Kenzu since they were on the shuttle. When they ran past all the awakened Nondead to reach the shuttle bay from the Bio laboratory, for the first time she felt a connection to her team, her people, not to her research books and medical labs. She felt... like a human woman.

Setting up her antique teakettle, Diane continued remembering the events of the week. Blood results had come back, the antivirus had worked and she was cured. However, the strain she had been infected with had made her naturally immune to the bacteria. The last she heard from the scientists working on her results, they expected to isolate the immune antibodies and start research to return to Mars.

She prayed to god they wouldn't succeed.

Which brought her to now. Alone again in her home, no information or contact from Kenzu, and setting up a bodiless funeral for Karne. Diane jumped with the loud whistle of the kettle, bringing another memory from Mars.

The alarm clock went off when she managed to get into the rainbow tag room, where she met the grisly sight of Judith Harroway. She remembered the terror of crawling through the duct vent with the Trimorph behind her, her life in Kenzu's hands to close the duct between her and the alien.

She never felt so happy to be alive like in that moment.

In that same time, when she listened to Judith's last words on her computer- she felt connected with her. The courage it must have took to say her last words to Martin, while knowing that there was no hope on the base for her survival... and she died alone, killed by that same Trimorph in the duct vent.

Diane experienced true unadulterated hatred. She wanted to kill that monster that killed this brave woman. This woman that was so precious to her teammate Karne. This woman that tried desperately to save everyone on the base, whom died in vein. It had been the hardest message Diane ever had to tell Karne, the most emotional moment she had experienced with someone else. Even now, remembering made her present heart clutch tight and her eyes fill with more tears.

So much guilt. She felt guilty for surviving... being _alive._

"I must calm down... I shouldn't think about it... not now." Diane was always a down-to-earth individual (of sorts); she could systematically isolate her feelings from her thoughts. This trait made her an invaluable asset to her profession. Tonight, she just couldn't do it. She just... couldn't handle NOT feeling. Her tough exterior broke.

-Plat...plat plat...plat-

A flow of tears came forth without a sound, her eyes tightly shut as she hunched against the kitchen counter. The delayed reaction to her adventure finally overcoming her resolve. The sounds of her sobs filled the cold, lonely night.

The gentle rapping of her balcony woke Diane like a bullet shot, her half conscious mind going into a panic from her lingering nightmare. Was one of those infected crewmembers scratching and rapping on her chamber door? When did she fall asleep? Did she manage to find someplace safe?

Her awareness came back to her, that she was safe back in her apartment on Earth. She took deep even breaths to calm her racing heart, repeating her safe net 'you're safe'. She was barely aware when she stood up from her bed, her tank top lopsided and her warm night pants droopy, to move the drape.

"Kenzu?" The face outside her door, her second story balcony door, sobered her up to open it. "What are you doing outside my window? I thought you were much more practical than that!" She helped heave the huffing man inside, the night air bitingly chill to the bone and helped him into a chair. Giving the man a moment to relax, Diane quickly closed the door and drape.

'It is still too dark to see.' On the bedside table she flicked on the light switch for her study light. It was dim, but she could make out Kenzu's form well enough. 'Kenzu...' He looked like a mess; tree leaves in his normally well-kept hair, his concealing shirt and jogging pants covered in dirt. Kenzu must have done quite some late night running around. 'Being dirty must be irritating to him... what happened? Why is he here?'

"I'll go bring you an extra blanket, wait here." Not giving Kenzu much of her attention, Diane walked out of her bedroom to her linen closet in the hall. She opened the door and grabbed the heaviest (and cleanest) quilt that she could grab. Successful, she closed the door. 'Now that I think about it, it must be inappropriate for a man to be in a lady's room, isn't it?' She didn't mind, but she was mindful of Kenzu's culture and the implications it meant. 'We are team mates, it probably doesn't matter anyway.'

She walked back into the room and briefly held her breath, Kenzu wasn't in his chair.

"Thank you." She gave a slight jump as she moved her head to his voice on her left; he was rubbing his arms in front of her bookshelf.

"No problem. Now put this around you, we can't have you getting a chill, now can we? You must still be susceptible to illness too." While she sternly lectured him Diane set to work wrapping his form in the blanket and leading him to the living room couch (connected to her bedroom). When she sat him down and turned on the table light (He was being quiet, she wondered why. Maybe it would be disrespectful to interrupt her?), she briefly looked at his feet. 'Good, he had enough sense to wear decent footwear in his weather.'

Standing tall, Diane thought 'perhaps I should offer some tea?'

"Would you like some tea to warm you up?"

"Yes, I would be grateful for some tea." His voice was low and steady, one of the things about him that never ceased to impress her. His voice rarely ever gave anything away.

Diane walked down the stairs and wondered to the kitchen, setting her teakettle on the stove (she never did drink her tea). 'I haven't heard from Kenzu all week, I didn't even know he was released from the research facility. Thank god.' She couldn't visit him, she tried right after she was cleared, but they denied her access. Any reason she gave they would inevitably tell her, 'You will be able to see him when he is cleared'. She eventually gave up and left him a message on his house phone to call her back. They had much to discuss.

Diane gave a sigh, covering her eyes with her left palm hand. She was still tired from the emotional stress that evening- what time was it now anyway? Letting down her hand, she glanced at the antique clock on her wall over the doorway. '2:38am? No wonder I am still tired, I didn't manage to sleep until past 11.'

Diane set out a serving tray, preparing the tea commodities (tea cups, plates and spoons) and setting the extra condiments to the side of the tray. 'How long has it been since I have had a guest over?' She couldn't quite remember. It must have been almost two years? 'Well, it is good to know I can still set a proper tea tray.' She gave a faint smile when the kettle whistled. The noise still troubled her, but her mood was too light to be overshadowed by dark memories.

Diane didn't quite think of anything in particular when she returned up stairs to the living room, Kenzu seated in the same spot she left him. While curious, Diane patiently set out the tea tray on the table. It might have been her imagination, but Diane could swear his muscles loosened up. Was he tense?

When Diane sat down, she was surprised when there was a complete silence. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk yet? She poured the tea in their cups, the action bringing back the memory of the travel back in the shuttle. Kenzu had opened a bottle of saki and two cups; she had been so bewildered like she felt now.

"We should make a toast to Karne." That was his only words, but they were enough. Her first taste of saki was very bitter.

Her task done, Diane set her own tea to her preference.

"I am cured." His words halted her hand from dropping a sugar cube for an instant, before she finished the action and set the tea to the side. He had her full attention now.

"Yes. We are cured of the bacteria."

The pause gave Diane enough time to sip her tea, her throat suddenly becoming dry. He did the same, albeit holding the tea differently. This talk was long overdue, but not long enough.

"You remember what Karne told us? About his other occupation?" It figured that Kenzu would strike there first. She gave a restless sigh.

"Yes."

"Have you reconsidered?" Had she? Really? She didn't hesitate on Mars to join, but the whole situation shook her entire being to the core. What did she want to do now? What was the right path?

"I have thought about it." She took another sip of her tea, avoiding Kenzu's piercing eyes. Why did he always make her feel so exposed? She felt so naked under his gaze. "There will be a lot of... complications, should I do it. I worry about the future." There. She said it. Getting together her nerve, Diane dared herself to look Kenzu straight in the eyes. He looked so understanding; did he also have the same problems she faced?

"I do understand. I feel the exact same way." Looking as calm and methodical as ever, Kenzu took another drink of his tea. Diane blinked in passing when she noticed he didn't put any milk or sugar in his tea.

"I feel as if I owe it to him." Diane whispered, barely realizing it passed her lips. She didn't even mean to say it. He looked into his teacup.

"Yes." He muttered, his voice low and clear. She could hardly contain her shock when he looked into her eyes, his eyes expressing his sorrow and confusion. He didn't know what he should do either.

If Diane hadn't been sitting down, her knees would have given out under her. Kenzu, the greatest of infomeshers, a genius, an elite among his profession! He looked _lost._

Diane closed her eyes, the reason for his coming becoming increasingly clearer by the second. She had forgotten. Kenzu needed some guidance as well. He was only human.

What could she say?

Licking her bottom lip Diane took another long sip, her thoughts racing. She wasn't good with giving comfort or socially related advice, and Kenzu needed _something._ She sighed, setting her teacup down. She could only do what she could do- what she _needed_ to do.

"On Mars... I felt alive." Diane smiled when Kenzu gave her an incredulous look.

Yes. She had felt that very same way when she realized that very fact days ago. Life was always so objective; she never took time to truly live it like many others did. She felt so horrible that she only felt like a human being in that hazard, when she felt that she would die if she gave up. It was a hard fact she had to accept. The whole experienced changed her.

She looked at Kenzu straight in the eyes, her own conscious finally realizing what her subconscious had been telling her ever since she made it back to Earth.

"While I was thinking here. Coming to terms with all that has happened, I had been having nightmares. These terrible nightmares about the base." Yes, her pride in revealing so much of herself was hurting- she could almost hear it ripping to pieces.

Logically, she knew they needed to get through this together, to be honest with each other, depend on each other, in order to get past it and decide what to do from there. Albeit, the loner in her wanted to kick him out, find his own answers, and just leave her by herself to cope with her research books.

She pressed on, her resolve now firm as stone. "I dreamed about the freezing cold of their bodies. Heard the scratching on the walls, the wailing from places far away, and the heavy breaths. I felt my blood itch beneath my skin with the bacteria spreading." She closed her eyes, her breathing becoming deep and harsh. "Through it all, I feel a sick sense of happiness." She locked her eyes with his stunned form; she could just imagine his whole perception of her changing all at once with no warning unnerved him as well.

"Why are you telling me this?" The question was direct, barely hiding the deep confusion and inner turmoil.

"You know as well as I do that no one else can understand what we went through." Her voice was soft, calm and deadly as an arrow. He gave a slow nod; he acknowledged the fact with grace. He still didn't understand.

"We are the only ones that can help each other. We can't make any decisions until we find ourselves again." She took a sip of her tea, her throat almost parched once again. She saw Kenzu's hand shaking and knew that he knew what she was talking about. That was why he was here, wasn't it? He was testing her abilities of rationality again. She was almost tempted to throw her cup in his face.

"No one is perfect after all." With his exhale of breath, she knew immediately she stunned him. He didn't think she would realize what he was doing? Fishing for her mood and frame of mind? He probably thought she was still in mourning and shock; maybe she hadn't even done her report to Allenby Co.? Fat chance.

"I'm sorry." That was his only utterance, she may have been upset with him but she shouldn't get angry. She would have done the same to anyone else. She relaxed, faintly wondering when she tensed to begin with.

"No. I'm sorry." She took a deep breath and sighed, calming her temper. "I feel like you and I are alike in that respect. We were both sleeping while awake, never living our lives to the fullest potential. Always focusing with our work. Always hiding. We never even knew that we were hiding beneath our skin. I realized that after I was released from the lab here on Earth."

"Everything is so confusing now. When I realized my feelings, I was horrified. _How could I feel glad about what happened on Mars? It was such a tragedy, I shouldn't be happy._ I still feel that guilt now. The whole mission woke me up and tested me beyond what I believed I could do—what I could handle."

"I never truly accepted what happened... until a few hours ago." She dared to touch Kenzu's shaking hand, gently and softly she held it. That touch was almost as intimate as the exchange of their eyes, words without words. He was breaking down too, he needed someone to lean on and hold him up. He was begging for her help, he _needed_ her help. The thought made her eyes fill with tears again, the warm feeling of being needed filling her heart.

"You need someone too, Kenzu." She squeezed his hand, feeling the link of their sadness, guilt, and shame.

"You can depend on me. Lean on me. Let it out." Kenzu's eyes closed, the intensity of his emotion breaking him. Tears made rivers down his cheeks, silent and beautiful. Silent sobs escaped him, his whole being crashing against the tiding wave of emotions. Crying for being alive, for surviving, for having a second chance. They were connected forever now.

Diane cried right along with him, the silent night covering them from wondering, hateful eyes.

Together, they could get through it together.

They would worry about what to do later. But for now, they needed to lean on someone.

* * *

And yes, for those that know the game- they are talking about the Resistance. The rebels against Earth Control, the giant power that governs (I believe) the human race as a whole. Allenby (correct me if I'm wrong) controls Earth Control. Allenby is also head of the Allenby Corporation that made the Vita Base on Mars.

I cannot find ANY information on the Internet about the going ons in the game. Yes, I have seen three walkthroughs on websites- but I mean actual information. It is all in the game, but I would like to find source on the Internet to read what Earth Control is. Why Allenby hoped to build the base, etc. I know some things, but not too much. I have to watch the playthrough again for it.

A nice list of information found in the game on the computers found throughout the base. All those things. I hope to find an information source in the future.

If anyone feels confused about what happened throughout the story, feel free to tell me in a review!

I like Diane, so I tried to catch her character that makes her a little unpredictable. Kenzu is a pretty unnerving individual because how calm and systematic he is. They both share that trait, but they think differently. I tried to collect that and make their interaction deep and insightful. Take care to note that Diane acts differently after she wakes up than before she went to sleep. A few hours of sleep after an emotional outlet (crying) really do help. Plus dreams help others cope with every day stress. Kenzu never had real time to sit and think, feel, stress, and have an outlet. He wants this to be quick and simple, unfortunately life isn't. He's not an exemption, therefore not as perfect as he tried to be.


End file.
